just a shadow

hey reader, i've decided to write. again. i have many thoughts on my mind. but now its my parents. and family.
i love my family to death. but my parents know how to get to me.
they expect me to be so much. because my sister got great grades. its bad for me to get grades any lower than her. like its that easy. they should open their eyes and see, that it actually doesnt come easily for me as it does my sister.
just recently in august she moved out to college. an hour away. so now theyre getting more leniant with me and what they expect from me. i give them everything i can but they just dont see it.
its like im living in the shadow of my sister. i dont know what to do.
my mom always chose my sister over me. she never said it. but she did.
like for instance, she would go to my sisters softball games instead of mine. she always had excuses though. and when i was at my sisters  softball game with her lastnight she started babbling to some stranger about my sister and how great she is at school and how shes going to be a nurse and all this great stuff.
and she never once, said a thing about me. how lovely would i feel. oh pretty great. thats just a few examples of what goes on with my family. it may not seem like much. but it gets to me. a lot. because of how frequent it is. its like they are expecting so much of me and im letting them down. i feel ashamed. but i do, honestly try my hardest. and i get good grades but not good enough for them. well.
thats all for today, sorry again.
thanks for readin
- Haley